Constellations

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by Jay Paul

 

finding myself to also be a great raven

soaring over a rolling field

of long grass and wildflowers

and a few isolated trees with great canopies

a family walked on a trail mown through the grass

the father a young bearded man pushed

a baby buggy and the pretty young mother

walked along

 

suddenly realizing that man was me

25 years ago

with my now adult daughter and ex-wife

in a scene that never happened

but is representative nonetheless

because we all did love each other

in our limited and limiting ways

and things did seem open to vast possibilities

 

then seeing myself as raven floating in the sky

and realizing I am also a constellation

of a great bear high in the sky behind the blue veil of sky

I am a bear constellation watching a soaring raven

who is also me

watching a man who was me a quarter century ago

 

this could go on

who is watching the great bear

perhaps the moon

there is no end

to the multiplication of selves

across space and time

 

and this is true not only of me

we are all infinite selves

spread throughout time and space

watching each other

in moments of realization

 

a vast array 

of loose ends

beyond any ken

 

today in human form

tipping the cup to my lips

tasting the tea supposedly

grown on some obscure farm

in the mountains of Yunnan

that I brewed carefully

according to the directions

of the tea shop owner

who consulted the farmer

supposedly

 

in that taste I drank the sun of Yunnan

hit the grit of its dirt

in Minnesota

 

in China a woman gets a pacemaker

made here

of parts coming from mines the world over

 

the tea is in me

is now of my flesh and marrow

and the pacemaker

is in her regulating

her heart beats

 

more infinite than myriad selves

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