Side Effects
by Jay Paul
In many ways, I consider myself lucky when it comes to side effects. The antipsychotics I am on cause some people to have diabetes or tardive dyskinesia. I have neither. But this does not mean I haven’t had my share of bizarre side effects. After a great June and July this year, when I felt better than I have in decades in terms of mood, something creeped back in in August. It may be side effects. I may be cycling. It’s not clear.
Bizarre side effects are nothing new for me. They started around 2000 when I was diagnosed with central apnea—a rare condition where the brain, not airway obstruction, shuts down breathing while asleep. I was put on a fancy and expensive CPAP machine called a bilevel. In 2013 I was taken off Depakote because of side effects. It was causing a build-up of ammonia in my blood. At my next sleep study, in 2016, it was found that I had mild obstructive apnea and no central apnea. The Depakote had been causing the central apnea.
Seroquel gave me problems. In 2010 I was diagnosed with idiopathic hypersomnia, meaning I slept all the time, and put on Adderall to keep me awake. When my sleep doctor suggested I go down on my Seroquel to aid with my staying awake, my psychiatrist took me off it completely. That turned out to be a disastrous move in terms of my having delusions, but it was the right move in terms of the idiopathic hypersomnia. I stopped sleeping all the time. In fact, I had difficulty with night waking for the next year, until my body adjusted to being off the Seroquel.
These are just a few of the side effects I’ve encountered. Others include low testosterone, low thyroid, and high levels of prolactin—the hormone associated with producing breast milk.
Right now, I wonder if I’m having side effects again. It has to do with something that happened in 2015. That year, I was taken off of two mg Risperidone because it caused my tongue to move around a lot. As with the Seroquel stoppage, that proved a bad move as far as my delusions went. And it proved a bad move as far as withdrawal went. After feeling lightheaded and weird for a few weeks, I started talking slowly. A coworker became concerned that I was having a stroke and called an ambulance. I spent a night in the hospital having any number of tests, including an MRI of my brain. The doctor concluded that no instrument measured any sign of a stroke but, since I was showing symptoms of a stroke, I had one so slight it did not register.
My family doctor and I decided that the “stroke” was really withdrawal from Risperidone.
While I haven’t had any stroke symptoms in the last couple weeks, I have felt lightheaded, especially when out for a walk. It turns out that a couple weeks ago I switched from taking a 2 mg Risperidone cut in half, which makes it one mg, to a one mg pill. That is the only thing that is different. Could there be something in that 2 mg Risperidone that I am sensitive to? Could this ingredient not be in the one mg? I wonder.
Or, I could be having side effects from the Risperidone in general. Antipsychotics often mess with electrolytes and potassium. Perhaps I should get some blood work done. Problem is, I don’t want to go to the doctor because of COVID. The good news is the lightheadedness seems to be gradually getting better. Maybe it is just a withdrawal. I hope so.
People with serious mental illness—schizophrenia, bipolar, major depression—die 10-25 years earlier than the rest of the population. There are a number of reasons for this ranging from high smoking rates to the ravages of homelessness and jail and prison. But I wonder if our meds also cut our lives short. What has the central apnea, idiopathic hypersomnia, high prolactin, and the bizarre withdrawals done to my body? I don’t know. But I imagine it’s cutting some years from my life.
Update: I had some blood work done on Tuesday of this week. Everything appears normal. At this point, I suspect I am having a reaction to a small dose of Trazadone that I am on for sleep. I am titrating off the Trazadone, since I don’t really need it. Let’s hope that the lightheadedness is not caused by the Risperidone. It would be difficult to find another medication.
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